According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the definition of the friend is: 1)A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. 2)A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. 3)A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. 4)One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
Well, I agree with A.H.D, but something is still missing… what about those friends that you are constantly on the border with–the friends that make you wonder what their motives are and are constantly surprising you? Where do they fit in?
From the time I was little, I have always been taught that friends are only temporary people you meet, but your family is to be your core layer of support. I do not think this is true. Sure your family is great, but some things are just unable to be taken care of with your family. There is simply too big of a a gap in generations’ ideals for us to fully relate to either our parents or our siblings (unless of course you have a twin). Things that matter today did not matter to our parents, and irrelevant topics for us hold some sort of semblance to our parents. With regard to friends, we don’t have to explain anything. Most of the time, they were there when whatever cataclysmic disaster happened or at least know of the people involved. It’s just easier to talk to them. (Does this mean you should never go to your parents? No.)
Friends, to me, have always been people who after a long period of time I found I could trust and depend on, without having to worry about them using what I say or think fr their own personal gain. I have the same group of four people who I recognize as my siblings. To me, they are an extension of my family, because I know no matter what they will always be there for me. Not many people have this privilege to say that they have found such good friends. Now that I’m going to college, I’ll admit, I’m scared to let them go. All of these years, we have built our own little clique. We sit together. We study together. We go to concerts together. We have a routine and expectations in our circle. I always get the perfect score on an English essay and my other friend does ten points higher than me on the Calculus test.This is the expectation.
In college, none of that exists. It’ like the first day of freshman year, only everyone is smarter–and hopefully more mature. So how does one find friends in college that could potentially be additions to your “extended family” from high school? It’s simple–do stuff. Don’t be a hermit. Yes, college is the time that will define your career and the rest of your life, but don’t forget to have fun. I’m not saying go to every party and join every club–just don’t be afraid to take a chance. Most importantly, do things you actually like or are interested in.
DO NOT LET YOUR ROOMMATE OR PEOPLE ON YOUR FLOOR GET YOU TO DO STUFF YOU DON’T WANT TO. The friends that you make in college are supposed to be lifelong friends, and trust me, lying to get people to like you only causes you to lose more people. Friends should never be people you take pictures with to get a lot of likes on Instagram. Really, they should be versions of you, but maybe with more athletic or music ability.
So how does one figure all of this out? Easy. Just do three things: 1) Do not just become friends with the first people you meet. 2) Never always hang out with the same group of people your first week there. 3) Forget the whole stereotyping system you learned in high school; no one is who you think they are in college. No one grew up on the same street as you and went to the same middle school. They come from completely different places and backgrounds.
However, be weary of the notorious frenemy (i.e. the person you think is a friend, but really is just looking to stab you in the back). In college, everyone–or at least a good percentage of the population is ambitious. Ambition is a good thing, but having a willingness to do ANYTHING to get ahead is not okay. There will be people who are naturally competitive and do not fool yourself for assuming they are just being nice. How to spot them? Trust me, I’ve debated in enough Model United Nations conferences to know that you will know in your gut, when you meet one of these people.
What exactly does all of this mean?
Well, as you go through life you meet people. Everyone leaves a mark on your paper that makes up the chapters of your life, but is up to you to decide if you want to begin the sequel or reread the first.
*Image courtesy of Veronica U-K.
By Veronica U-K.
Just a Second More 